The blessing and joy that follows suffering is another baby! Talk about a shock to us and my doctor. We actually found out about it at a follow up exam on February 1st. We all have been praying and waiting these last two weeks, and we did a sonogram this week and baby is doing extremely well with a strong heartbeat. We have another sonogram in three weeks so that we can keep on monitoring things, but we are all trusting God to keep the baby healthy and strong. Please keep it in your prayers. We are all excited. We really would love to finally get our other girl, but if God gives us a boy, we are just thankful for a wonderful addition to our family. Lilly will just be surrounded and well protected. Yes, we already pretty much have the name set if it is a girl (we have had this name on standby for quite a while now), and we also, with a lot of searching, have a potential boy name as well just in case. Regardless, Baby Sersaw is due October 12, 2012. I guess I will need to sit out from a busy orchestra schedule for a while longer unless I can find something closer to home. I am not complaining though. I am enjoying this time of having the time to practice and polish.
As I sit back and think about the last two months, I still wonder why God. Why did we have to go through what we went through? The loss of a child is indescribable until you have gone through it yourself. It does not matter if it is via miscarriage or later in life, it still is the loss of someone dear to you. I will say that talking through it does help with the healing. Every once in awhile, tears will come, but there is also a joy and an eagerness knowing that one day we will all be united in Heaven. Won't that be a wonderful time? These last two months have been a time of growth for me personally. I have grown closer to God, more aware of those around me, rearranged my life, dropped some responsibilities and picked up on some things that are more what God would have me do at this point in life, and I also have realized that I do have a lot of friends and a lot of people that God has put in my life. I hope that I can also be there for others in their times of suffering as well.
God has shown us time and time again that joy does always follow suffering. No matter how much you want to give up during times of trials and suffering remember that God is still in control. He is always on Plan A, and He is always going to get you through it no matter what. Also remember that eventually you will have joy again. Sometimes God lets circumstances come into our lives in order to draw us closer to Him. Even when everything else fails you, He never will. Your personal relationship with Christ is the most important relationship that you will ever have. With God, all things according to His will are possible, and God does bring about miracles and blessings sometimes at times when you least expect them. Hopefully, the testimony of what God has done and is doing in our family helps show this.
